I wonder if………….
How often do we say those words. I wonder if I did this or that, what would happen? How will we ever know if we don’t do what we wonder? I must admit I have been thinking much on this over this past week. I have been pondering life a bit more closely, and wondering if I should even write this, and tell what happened to me. I decided today that I will share it because somewhere out there perhaps I will connect with someone else who needs to hear this.
Last week I had the closest brush with “death” so to speak, that I have ever experienced, and hope to never experience again for quite some time. However scared I was, I was actually okay with whatever happened. I didn’t at all feel it was my time to go, but all
of a sudden realized that it most certainly could be. I have had a heart that likes to race as of late, and can usually get it calmed down and haven’t really thought it was super serious. My doc has done all of the heart tests that she could think of to do, and told me that if it ever happened again that I should get into emerg and let’s capture what is really going on. The tests results showed nothing wrong, so the next thing was to catch it in the act.
Well last Monday it happened again. Bam! My head started spinning, I started instantly sweating, and my heart was racing. It’s the weirdest thing. So I did the usual things to try and calm it down, but it wasn’t listening to me. Off to emerg I go with Logan, and of course because it was my heart, I got to bypass the waiting room full of sick and injured patients. Probably a good thing because I am sure it would have been a couple of hours waiting at least! They whipped me into the room and had me hooked up to all kinds of monitors and IV within just a couple of minutes. My heart was racing well over 200 bpm and a few times was up to 236 bpm. Not fun. I wasn’t worried, but they sure were. They tried some breathing techniques with me to see if it would calm down, but it wasn’t being very obedient.
Next step was to give me a medication called Adenosine. Wow that was some drug. You can find out a few things about it here, which also describes briefly about what they called it that I have “supraventricular tachycardia.” In short form they had to reset my heart, at least that is how the emerg doc had described it to me. I can only say that it was the most bizarre thing I have experienced. I felt for a very brief few seconds that I might just be dieing. The craziest thing was that I was at peace with that. But….I didn’t die! And now I have a whack more of appointments to figure out what to do about it. I guess it isn’t life threatening, but they do need to treat it so that it stops happening.
Back to the point of my thoughts today, I wonder what would happen if I start acting on some of the I wonders that I think about. I have come to understand that life is way too short to keep wondering, and we should actually start doing. It is way too short to keep worrying over stuff that we have no control over. It is way too short to keep getting upset over little things that tomorrow, won’t matter anyway. It is way too short to not stop and smell the flowers, take a walk in the park, read a story to a little one, or take time to visit someone you haven’t seen in awhile.